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Joined 2 years ago
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Cake day: July 3rd, 2023

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  • That’s the majority of Americans. Beyond what was almost certainly a stolen election (large scale, billionaire-bankrolled propaganda, campaigns, voter disenfranchisement, and probably voting machine manipulation), Trump’s disapproval rating since starting that shit has skyrocketed.

    We are in an awful fascist quagmire of a situation that we are going to have to fight to free ourselves from, but that doesn’t mean that the actions of this administration actually represent us.


  • Not sure what you’re referring to, but the 4th hasn’t really changed. Maybe you’re confusing it with the (laughable) military parade Trump did for his own birthday?

    Personally I’ve long found patriotism to be a pretty abhorrent concept, but I’ve always enjoyed the opportunity to spend time with my family regardless. To me, the 4th is much more about community than it is the country. And while this country is fucking awful, I do have a pretty great community around me that I’m grateful for.




  • In modern chess, engines have gotten good enough that we generally do know the top moves and humans can’t beat them. We can even numerically assess someone’s chess play with a computer, which we call “accuracy”. Obviously they can always be improved further, and there are a handful of situations where they might misevaluate, but it’s still pretty incredible.

    Engines have only made chess more exciting as they have shattered a lot of old theory and helped people find a lot of new and innovative ideas. They are an incredible aid in analysis and tournament prep.



  • It’s perfectly reasonable to not want to sleep over at your parents’ house after only a month of dating. To be honest, it’s reasonable to not ever want to do that. It’s weird sleeping in someone else’s house period.

    But especially after just a month of dating, your parents may as well be strangers to him. He likely doesn’t have any sense for any cultural differences between how he was raised and your family, like what behaviors are considered faux pas to your parents, etc.

    To be honest I think you’re really getting ahead of yourself. Take your time with the relationship and build trust and the foundations of a great relationship. It always takes time and patience. You guys are still just starting to learn about each other.


  • Massive red flags all around. At this point it sounds like he’s fully “in the hole”, so to speak.

    You could try to address the issue, but to be honest I don’t see it doing anything productive. He sounds pretty toxic and you can’t force people to become better… They have to want it themselves.

    If you do try to address the issue with him, the important thing is to not allow yourself to get bogged down with misogynistic, manipulative bullshit. If he is dismissive of your concerns and won’t engage in a constructive conversation with you, then there’s not a lot you can do and you should move on.


  • I met my wife on a dating app in 2019 on Bumble (28 at the time). It can work, but you have to be willing to sift through a lot of bullshit and be patient. You also need to be able to handle rejection and mistreatment (like getting stood up/ghosted). It’s ultimately a numbers game and it takes time to find someone that is actually right for you.

    I expect it’s probably also not nearly as bad for older age groups. At your age, I think people are going to be a lot more likely to be direct and know what they want.

    My advice is to try it out. Worst case, you decide it’s not for you and try something else.




  • That’s all well and good, but it is simply wrong to claim that is a manifestation of ADHD. That’s not how it works. ADHD is a dysfunction of the executive system of the brain. It causes challenges in things like sustained focus and/or impulse control (among other symptoms associated with executive dysfunction). For what you described, I would just call that a personality trait and not in any way related to ADHD. In fact, it’s actually the opposite behavior of what you would expect from ADHD: sustained focus on something you don’t want to do.

    As someone who has actual diagnosed ADHD for many years, it’s a big pet peeve of mine when people ascribe any random aspect of their personality to “ADHD” (if they even actually have it at all). While the specific manifestation of the disorder can obviously vary from person to person, they still all share the same basic traits in how the brain is working, and to associate unrelated things to it does a disservice to those that have it and are trying to understand more about it, in addition to undermining the broader public understanding of the condition and how it affects every day life. Mental health disorders have become a trendy new badge for people to collect on social media and spread all kinds of bullshit misinformation about. It’s so fucking stupid and tiring. It makes it harder for people who actually have real mental health disorders to get what they need.





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